The Snip Part 1

10Sep
  • malenirvana
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The Snip – Part 1  by Montague Mulberry
“Saloon to a Coupe Story” by the innocent bystander…

“How often have you been at a dinner party and the subject of The Snip – Getting a vasectomy is raised ? You¹ve heard the story, youngest has (or is about to) start school, it¹s now or never go again or shut down the baby factory.
Big issue for many couples ! And if the decision is to stop, what then? is it a tube (or two) to be tied or a percy to be chopped ?

Big call, serious call and everyone has their own view(s).
Well the good news is, I ran into my old friend Monty as always, he has a view and some practical experience with The Snip.

Firstly, I loved his call. In his ribald, British, gentlemen¹s accent he simply stated,²ah, the old sedan into a coupe procedure, no big deal.
Is The Snip that simple ? Well in thousands of case yes, in some others, not so.

Before going any further, it must be pointed out that neither I,  (nor Montague for that matter) has any medical background, none are qualified to give any advice whatsoever in this regard. So, if you are contemplating this procedure, for everyone¹s sake consult your doctor, medical professional etc and do NOT rely on this epistle for any form of guidance.

That said, our good friend Monty tells us of his experience of The Snip.

The Snip – Part One:

My wife and I had, had three, happy, healthy boys. The youngest was 5 and about to start primary school, yes it was decision time. Do we call it quits or go again ?  well we decided to call it quits. We then decided that I would be the one to have The Snip.

Unsurprisingly a few months went by and I had done nothing in this regard. (Who queues up to have some bloke get a very sharp scalpel out to cut your testies and render you are coupe ?)
Well, on one, cold, winters night, I witnessed something so horrific that my mind was made up, and off I ran to man with the ridiculously sharp knife. (In fact the procedure was conducted some 48 hours later).

Let me set the scene. I visited a client, and close friend, on my way home from the office. Nothing unusual about this. Short story, he was the proud and loving Dad of a couple of neat, young adults from his former marriage and also the proud and loving Dad of a few more from his second marriage. NB All wonderful young and not so young adults today !

When I entered the house I was greeted with the sound a booming BOSE stereo thumping out a version of something quite dreadful. The controller of the remote (a 20 something creature) had consumed a few beers which had clearly resulted in some form of deafness.

His attractive sister in her late teens was cooking a cheeky little bacon based entrée, sadly however she was pre-occupied by a phone call with her bestie, lost focus and nearly set the house on fire.

Shortly after the fire was extinguished, an over tired 7 year old screamed (from the level above) for homework assistance, such assistance was available, and would have been immediately forthcoming had it not been for a blood curdling shriek from his 5 year old sibling whom had just slipped and fell in the shower resulting in a split skull. The poor wee man ran out (of the shower) seeking assistance, spilling blood everywhere. He received the immediate and appropriate care required. Almost immediately after the poor wee chap had been bandaged and calmed, the infant twins, each of whom had been suckling with great enthusiasm on their Mum¹s breasts, took time out to projectile vomit in tandem across the rather nice carpet that had just been greeted with blood, beer and smoke.

I had somehow managed to get the docs signed, and immediately took my leave. During the haste of my departure from the house of bedlam I also committed to myself to have a vasectomy, yes I was going to get The Snip it was definitely on the radar after the evenings experience!

The Snip – Part 2 to follow…go to The Snip – Part 2

 

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